Thursday, September 22, 2011

Not such a good day

Lately my patience has been running thinner and thinner and sometimes it just feels that I may explode at any moment. The stress of Jesse working 14 hour days and on his "days off" being too exhausted to play and needing to still work from home is just plain sucky! I know if I really thought about it I could think of 1,000 other words to use to describe it, most of which wouldn't be inappropriate, but for now I'm just going to go with sucky.

I know that Jackson can sense the tension and stress in the house and is certainly letting me know he does with the constant whining, getting into everything, hitting, bitting, climbing all over me like i'm a jungle gym and just needing to be all up in my business at all moments of the day. In fact he is attempting to help me type at this very moment.... Someday I will look back at these moments and miss him wanting so desperately to, as I see it, climb back into my womb. But for now it makes me want to lose my marbles at many points during the day!

This move has been nothing like what we expected from the very beginning. The stress level that Jesse is dealing with at work is through the roof which trickles all the way down to us. It's hard to not have daddy home in the evenings for dinner and bedtime and to wake up most mornings with him already gone for the day. We WILL survive, I know this. And things will NOT always be this way. But for now I just needed a moment to vent....

I know that it's time to put on my big girl pants and fight through this time so that is what I must decide to do from now on. I must wake up each morning and vow to be a little more patient with myself and my child and take deep breaths when I feel myself losing the last ounce of sanity I have in me.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day...

1 comment:

  1. Elisabeth... moving is SO hard and you both should pat yourselves on the back for taking on this HUGE challenge. When I feel bogged down by the momentary pain of life, I try and do something that brings perspective. I read a thoughtful book, drink a glass of wine, take a hot shower or just pray... and often the air clears. It doesn't change the situation, but it gives us just enough steam to make it through another week.

    I'll be thinking about you and your family as I'm sure you'll have the same challenges throughout this coming Fall and Winter. Hang in there and find your happy place!