A little bit of this...A little bit of that

Yes! We are alive! :)

I just realized that I haven't made a post since the end of November! Obviously the hustle and bustle of the Holidays certainly got away with me :)

A little update on the happenings of the wacky Gardner household:

*Jackson and I headed back to Oregon for 9 days in December to celebrate the Holidays with mine and Jesse's families. We had so much fun! We celebrated Thanksgiving one weekend and Christmas the next and feel so blessed that our families were willing to put together these events for us :) Jackson had such fun making Christmas cookies with Aunt Melissa and stood in awe as he watched a Christmas tree get cut down for the first time. He made some amazing memories with cousins Henry and Joshua and learned about new traditions with Grandma Brigette! What an amazing trip we had!

*Jesse, Jackson and I experienced a new kind of Christmas this year. We have always celebrated Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with our families and while this year was difficult and challenging to be away from everyone it helped us to realize something beautiful. We are now our own little Family. This is something that I think I've known since Jackson was born but I guess I've never really thought about until this holiday season. Realizing this has meant that I now must admit that I am an adult....obviously I have been an adult for some time now...but it's a hard to describe feeling of new found responsibility. We make the traditions now, we are responsible for all decisions that we make and further more we are the ones that have to make the decisions.
Jesse and I discussed how this year's Christmas didn't really feel like one but when we came to the day and saw Jackson's entire face light up as he grasped the concept of Santa more and the beauty in his eyes as he looked at the "Prettttyyyyy" lights (as he calls them) our hearts couldn't help but be filled with joy. All in all it was a wonderful Christmas and we can't wait for the excitement Jackson will have next year being a year older :)

*I have not so patiently been waiting for 4 months now for Jackson's darn 2nd molars to cut through! Now I know that while I'm waiting, Jackson is clearly doing all the work here. But I certainly have lost out on quite a bit of sleep with the 5am wake ups and the 40 min naps. FINALLY 2 days ago he cut the bottom right now and then in typical Jackson fashion yesterday he cut the bottom left one. This kid sure doesn't do anything slow as he now only has 2 teeth left to cut and he's only almost 22 months! This means that most likely he will have ALL his teeth by his 2nd Birthday! So crazy! But the minute he cut these suckers he's been sleeping from 7pm-7am and taking 1.5hour naps...I know it isn't likely to last but I am very very happy for the time that it will last :) It's the small things...

It amazes me what a BOY Jackson really is! He has recently become obsessed with the stereotypical planes, trains and automobiles :) I love it! He is using his imagination so much more now and takes parts of many different toys and makes a whole new toy with them all...SO cool!

He is growing up so fast and while I want him to slow down to savor it all I am excited to see what an amazing little boy I know he is going to become!

I may be a little biased but he is one CUTE little guy ;)

You know you're a Mom when...

You manage to walk through an entire store without noticing your jacket is inside out...what's better is it isn't the first time.

Since giving birth you have developed Paul Bunyan like strength and can carry your 24lb toddler strapped to your chest and groceries weighing the same amount up 3 flights of stairs without having a heart attack.

You have no clue what day of the week it is EVER!

When you hear people say in a store "gosh who's kid is that?" (talking about a screaming child)..Yes...they are talking about YOU now.

You could probably drink 2 cups of coffee, a red bull and 3 espresso shots at 8pm and fall asleep by 9pm.

Parking lots are now like battlefields. People drive way to fast, don't stop for crosswalks and children are constantly darting out from between cars. Your mission - Just get out alive!

Every morning when your "alarm" aka "your screaming child" goes off you look at the monitor through one half opened eye and wonder if you could slyly turn it off and catch a few more zzzzz's.

As your child gets older and learns to communicate more you start to feel more and more stupid by the day as they become smarter.

When you finally go to a store to purchase an item for yourself you end up leaving the store with nothing but things for your child.

Your idea of the perfect day consists of taking a longer than 2 minute shower, going to the bathroom without an audience and being able to hear yourself think.

You feel like your brain is on hyper drive all day long....you're constantly scanning for ways your child will try to hurt themselves and have become aware of just how dangerous this world is.

While you own probably a dresser full of clothes, you choose to wear the same 5 t-shirts over and over.

Since becoming a mom you have become extremely apologetic to your own mom about all the terror you must have put her through :)

and finally....

You know you're a mom when at the end of every day you feel exhausted, beat up and defeated but you will get up tomorrow and every day after that and do it all over again because your child needs you and you love them. Being a mom is one of the hardest job in the world but I am stronger now than I have ever been. And even though sometimes it feels like I'm sinking....when I look at Jackson's beautiful face and the joy he gets from the little things I think...this is why it's all worth it!

He is definietly my son!

Pretty much every negative quality of mine since birth Jackson has unfortunately inherited. He had colic like a mad man and sensitive skin which led to a spendy trial and error process with soap, wipes and diapers. He is extremely "Spirited" and what I call "passionate" about life :) And he attempts to push what I think each day is my last button till the next day when he finds a new one. We struggle with his eating and getting him to gain weight which also has been a very costly process.

However despite all of this he is my beautiful son and I would do anything in this world for him and wouldn't change a single thing about him (except for maybe if he would sleep a little more).

Awhile ago I was cutting up some olives for dinner and he kept begging for some so I said what the heck have one! His eyes lit up like he'd seen Santa Claus and a tiny little "mmmmm" could be hear as he gnawed away at that delicious morsel. Many people may know that I am a huge fan of olives and while Jesse tolerates them in small quantities he is in no way a "fan" of olives. Tonight I introduced Jackson to the the "Olive hand". Boy oh Boy this kid is DEFINITELY my son!!

hmmmmm what shall I do with these

oh that's right! EAT THEM!!! num num num

so delicious!

out of everything on his plate...what does he eat first?!?!

    

What we affectionately call "The Creepy Walk"

Jackson has such a huge personality and loves to provide us with many laughs throughout the day!

One of our favorites is what we call "The Creepy Walk!" All you have to do is say "Jackson, do the creepy walk" and he gets it done!

Daily Embarrassment......the new normal

Now that we are full blown into the terrible 2's (clearly it should be changed to "the terrible 16months-?????" I have found that daily embarrassment set forth by my child is the new normal.

Last week Jackson and I went into Jo-Ann's to pick up a few things. Because I know that Jackson has a very limited attention span and ability to be good in stores I prepare myself to be in mommy hyper speed mode once we have entered the stores. On this visit I had everything prepared...snack-check, water-check, paci-check, books/toys-check and I went in on a mission!

Jackson did great until we reached the dreaded check-out line :(  

First of all I have no idea why every single time i go into a craft store they only EVER have 1 checkout person working. why?!?! Second of all who in their right mind writes checks for $5.00 worth of craft supplies?!?!?! Apparently in Colorado writing checks for small purchases is all the rage. After being in line for 10minutes watching Jackson start to squirm, I can tell that we only have maybeeee 5min max left before he looses it. I start digging through my arsenal of distraction items, luckily a nice lady comes in line behind us and since Jackson is SUCH a people person he finds great joy in chatting away with this lady. FINALLY it's our turn! I was so anxious about getting us out the store I didn't notice how close I had parked the cart and my grubby handed child to the gift card display. So....clearly not by any surprise to anyone, Jackson reaches his arm out and knocks over the entire gift card display. I'd say probably about 100 gift cards are all over the floor and the 10 people in line are staring me down while i pick up every last gift card.

This has become such a daily occurrence at this point that I don't lose my cool anymore. I simply fix whatever thing Jackson has destroyed, tell him we don't do that, apologize to the cashier and swiftly leave the store.

However, while I do keep my cool in the store I typically spend the 10min drive home crying quietly to myself from embarrassment.

I explain these occurrences to Jesse and how difficult they are but I don't think he truly understood until Jackson gave him a good taste of it in Costco & Walmart this week. Jackson's tantrums have recently turned from general grunts and jibber jabber of frustration to blood curdling screams. Jackson in all his glory let out the biggest one yet at the entrance of Costco a few days ago....so loud and sudden that people in the bakery section at the very back of costco all the way down to where we were at the entrance turned and starred. Oh yes...I wanted to pull my hood over my face and lay down on the floor in the fetal position. But a last I am 26 and not 2 so we kept moving and about 3min later Jackson was just fine. The look on Jesse's face was priceless though....a complete deer in headlights :) For a moment it did feel good to have Jesse there with me though sharing in the embarrassment.

For now we will limit our outings and hope that this intense stage will pass soon!

The many faces of Jackson

Now I have always thought that Jackson was  a funny and "spirited" child with a personality that just bursts out of him but it really didn't dawn on me just how expressive he is until the pictures I took of him this morning :)

Here are the many faces of the wild,crazy, loveable, silly and sometimes challenging Jackson:

mischievous

Blue Steel

The look I give him when he's being naughty...uncanny how accurate he does that

surprised

whoaaaaa

Cookie Monster!

While at Target yesterday I discovered that the limited edition Peppermint Oreos were out, yay! Since it was going to snow (which is sure did!) and Jesse was out of town which meant I naturally was feeling a bit sad and lonely, I obviously had to purchase these delicious treats!

Jackson has recently learned how to say Cookie "ookie" and when he saw the package and that little grin came across his face I just HAD to let him have one :) I'm a sucker for that grin and his sweet little voice (when he's not screaming) ;) As soon as he took that first bite and I heard the "mmmmmm" I knew that I had created a monster!

I will get you cookies!

rarrrrrr

 

Yeah I got a cookie mom...whatcha gonna do about it?!?

Helpless

We've had our fair share of illnesses go through our house since Jackson's been born. With Jesse working outside the home and Jackson being at the age where we go play at germ infested play places it is inevitable that one or all of us will get sick many times this coming winter. To be honest I feel a little foolish in the fact that Jesse came down with this recent round of sickness first and because it wasn't till the tail end of his that Jackson caught it that I thought Jackson and I were in the clear...silly me!

I think that no matter how many times your child gets sick, even if it's just a cold, that helpless feeling will never go away. It's now been a handful of times that I've seen that awful number of 104 show up on the thermometer and every single time my heart starts racing and I look into my baby's eyes full of fear and question "is this ok?" Numerous doctor's have told me repeatedly yes, don't bring him in until it hits 105 but I just can't help but want someone, anyone to do SOMETHING when I feel so helpless and out of control.  Jackson has been such a trooper through every illness he's had. We are now on our 3rd round of Croup since last year and I am always fearful that that uncontrollable, uncomfortable sounding seal bark is going to turn into something worse. This bout of the bark has got to be the worse thus far. Poor baby can hardly hold his eyes open most of the day and for only the 2nd time since he's been alive has Jackson fallen asleep just laying on the floor.

This just goes to show you how incredibly awful he must feel....

Anyone that knows Jackson knows that he is a HUGE ham for the camera every time it's pointed at him.....poor little guy :(

For now I will give him the best medicine I can...lots of hugs and kisses!

Our First Colorado SNOW!!

The news has been talking about the snow coming for the last week or so but being from Oregon we never allowed ourselves to get too excited about it because we figured it just wouldn't happen. Well...we were wrong, it certainly did happen and is still happening now!

We have about 5inches on the ground at our house and when Jackson saw the snow for the first time off the deck he pointed at the snow covered tree and squealed "SNOWMAN!!!" So precious :)

hehe SNOWMAN!

This morning we got all bundled up and Jesse decided to go in just a little late (he had a manager's shift so it was ok) and enjoyed watching Jackson experience the snow for the first time!

He was pretty darn excited to get his snow clothes on

I'm pretty sure he liked it, hard to tell though :)

This picture is so special to me

We LOVE the snow!

If I could reach in and pull them through myself I would!

Yesterday was a rough day! Jackson was up at 5:30am for some ungodly reason and then to top it off he would only take a 1 hour nap. In typical Jackson fashion this led to one grouchy kiddo and mommy.

I am certain that this was due mostly to the massive chompers he has coming in (All 4 second molars). Jackson has been such a champion teether. He broke the first tooth around 4 months old and they haven't taken a break for longer than 2 months since that. These molars however may be the death of me! I swear he has been working on them for 3 weeks now and it breaks my heart every time he points at his ears and says "owie mommy." If I could reach my hand in there, without him biting me, and pull those suckers through i'd do it in a heartbeat.

Anyways, these angry teeth have led to many challenging days lately, including yesterday. Jackson has taken up poking Jesse and I directly in our eyes, throwing wooden puzzle pieces at my face and pinching our legs as hard as he can. Most days we get through simply by mommy drinking an obscene amount of coffee throughout the day and taking DEEP breaths. I always wonder if I'm the only one going through this right now and if this last forever? Funny how looking back now the colic and lack of sleep don't seem so bad compared to the physical injuries we receive from our active and "Spirited" toddler. Don't get me wrong, colic was BAD! At times after 10 hours of constant screaming we found ourselves wondering if we dropped him off the balcony would he bounce? OF COURSE we would NEVER EVER do that but after that much screaming and crying and lack of sleep you just aren't in your own head anymore.

Needless to say, I hope these dang teeth break through soon because while I know I can't take the challenging behavior much longer I know Jackson doesn't want to endure the pain even more so.

Moments like these make everything worth it...

Jackson and I had a pretty quiet day today. We started out the morning like any other day...mommy is on her second cup of coffee by 8am and we're watching the Today show to make sure we're up to date with what's going on with the world.

After nap we headed out for our errands and then got home right before the rain started. Finally it felt like Portland! I heard this song on the radio and it really made me think.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDA1s0Uzaq4

Jackson was cuddled up next to me in the big chair watching the video when we got home and bobbing his head along to the music...one of his new forms of dancing and pretty dang cute :) I started singing and when i got to the Youuuuuu part he chimed in and was actually singing the word! I couldn't believe it...I looked at him with his eyes closed, head tilted up and in that moment everything stopped and all I saw was an innocent,sweet,loving and beautiful baby with the biggest grin on his face. I forgot about how he had just hit me in the face with his snack cup and how his little toes digging into my thigh was killing me...all i could think about was WOW Jesse and I made him and all of his imperfections and at times "spirited" attitude make him so perfect and who he is and I wouldn't change that for anything in this world.

He then looked at my arm and saw a little zit i had, looked into my eyes and said "owie mommy" and with tears in my eyes I said "yes Jackson, owie" and without hesitation he leaned down and gave my zit a kiss and said "owie no mommy".

Moments like these make everything worth it.

A new challenge

 Since being diagnosed with Sandifers Syndrome in March of this year we have put Jackson on several medications before we found one that reduced his "episodes" enough that he could be comfortable.

(For those that don't know what sandifers syndrome is: basically Jackson's body has "shuddering spells" in a reaction to acid reflux).

Within the past few weeks his episodes have been more frequent and other concerning symptoms have been popping up as well (i.e. a boat load of gas and burping). We went for a visit with his new GI doctor here in Colorado and we LOVE him which is fantastic since we weren't such a big fan of our last GI doc or pediatrician. He agreed that Jackson's reflux was not under control at all and our next step should be to increase his medication dosage. Now he informed us that 95% of children have either shown much improvement or have been rid of acid reflux by the time they're 18 months so we are kind of in limbo right now with the fact that Jackson could start to show improvement signs now or he may end up being that 5% that it either takes longer to go away or he struggles with it for who knows how long. If this next dosage amount doesn't improve things then we can go up one more dosage (which is the maximum dosage he can be on) and then we will have to discuss a possible endoscopy procedure (really not something we want to put him through or go through ourselves).

Ok so now that the back story has been told :)

We began Jackson's new dosage this past Friday and I also started a food and symptom diary thinking that maybe, just maybe, there is some food that we give him that is setting him off. Really I was just trying to find anything that would allow me to get my baby off this medication! After 2 days i started to notice a slight pattern with consuming dairy (specifically milk) and his symptoms.

So here we are....we have decided to have Jackson be completely dairy-free for 3 weeks to clear his system of all dairy.

I apparently had NO CLUE just how many things have dairy in them...pretty much everything! For now shopping trips are much more difficult and time consuming as I have to read the labels of EVERYTHING i might give him and 8 times out of 10 I have to put it back because it has some form of dairy in it. BUT we have found a few good items to get us going and so far we have seen  a lot of improvement in Jackson's attitude and symptoms. Now don't get me wrong, some days aren't as good (for example yesterday he had about 12 episodes) but today he had 2 so hopefully we're headed in the right direction! He has also gone from refusing every meal to eating everything on his plate AND asking for more!!! YAY! We have struggled in the past with getting Jackson to gain weight so the fact that he was barely eating anything was freaking me out. He seems so much happier now and not nearly in as much pain.

While having Jackson needing to be dairy-free will certainly pose a challenge for me as a mom and a chef for the family :) I have no problems doing it if it was provide Jackson with a pain free childhood.

Here's to a new challenge with hopefully a very big reward!

To cut or not to cut?

As Jackson's hair has grown we decided it would be fun to see what it would look like if we let it get a little longer! Now not girly longer but you know that surfer shaggy look.

However...it has recently come to my attention that my child has a mullet!

party in the back!

Now i'm left wondering if we should power through this awkward stage of hair growth or give it a trim? There is no way i'm going to cut it because I have no clue what I'm doing but I fear a barber might cut too much off...

From the front it's pretty dang cute!

I think we'll just give it a little longer and see what his crazy head of hair does :)

Just What We All Needed

Jesse finally had a day off on Friday!! He turned his phone off and completely dedicated himself to spending the day with Jackson and I and I couldn't thank him more for that...we needed it!

We had heard a lot about the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo down in Colorado Springs so we decided to venture down there and spend the day at the zoo! Now I must admit that due to the name "Cheyenne" we assumed that this zoo was up in Wyoming so we spent the entire week telling Jackson about how we were going to Wyoming on Friday...haha we felt pretty silly when we realized it was down in Colorado Springs...oh well :)

This Zoo was probably the coolest thing we've been to in a longggg time! It was HUGE! And to top it off there were hardly any people there....The Perfect Day!

I couldn't believe we actually got to feed and pet the Giraffes! An experience of a lifetime for sure!

Cheezin it up!

We spent a lot of time at the Giraffes because they were just so beautiful!

Jackson learned how to dip a french fry...look at the concentration :)

After the long, frustrating and exhausting week we all had we REALLY needed this day together. We had such an amazing time and loved every minute of it :) Its so wonderful how just one day can renew your sense of family and togetherness and give you a new view on life. I love my husband and son more than anything and love spending this special day together.

Not such a good day

Lately my patience has been running thinner and thinner and sometimes it just feels that I may explode at any moment. The stress of Jesse working 14 hour days and on his "days off" being too exhausted to play and needing to still work from home is just plain sucky! I know if I really thought about it I could think of 1,000 other words to use to describe it, most of which wouldn't be inappropriate, but for now I'm just going to go with sucky.

I know that Jackson can sense the tension and stress in the house and is certainly letting me know he does with the constant whining, getting into everything, hitting, bitting, climbing all over me like i'm a jungle gym and just needing to be all up in my business at all moments of the day. In fact he is attempting to help me type at this very moment.... Someday I will look back at these moments and miss him wanting so desperately to, as I see it, climb back into my womb. But for now it makes me want to lose my marbles at many points during the day!

This move has been nothing like what we expected from the very beginning. The stress level that Jesse is dealing with at work is through the roof which trickles all the way down to us. It's hard to not have daddy home in the evenings for dinner and bedtime and to wake up most mornings with him already gone for the day. We WILL survive, I know this. And things will NOT always be this way. But for now I just needed a moment to vent....

I know that it's time to put on my big girl pants and fight through this time so that is what I must decide to do from now on. I must wake up each morning and vow to be a little more patient with myself and my child and take deep breaths when I feel myself losing the last ounce of sanity I have in me.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day...

A Beautiful Sunny Morning at the Park!

With Jesse gone at work since 1am for inventory and an unfortunate call that he may be at work till 10pm tonight :( :( I decided to take Jackson to the park to take my mind off of things. It rained a bit last night so unfortunately the slides were all wet but we still had some fun in the chilly sunny morning!

 

 

Watching some construction

shhhhhh :)

Ummm....I think you forgot to give me the manual????

So Jesse and I decided to bite the bullet and potty train Jackson this past week. All signs were pointing to him being ready and he seemed very excited about the potty! We went and got big boy underwear, a potty, pull ups...the works! Then reality set in....
First off I don't think we realized that although Jackson may have been showing signs of being ready and was successful at doing his business when set on the potty, he certainly wasn't ready or old enough to have the appropriate bladder control or ability to pull on and off a pull up or underwear. Now I know that kids don't get potty trained overnight and by no means was I putting that sort of expectation on Jackson but after the first day of full on potty training we discovered that perhaps our excitement of Jackson potty training early was clouding our judgement on if he was truly "ready".
I have never felt so uncertain or questioned so many things in my life than I have since being a parent. "Am I feeding him the right thing?", "Should he be saying sentences by now?", "Is he sleeping enough?", the list just goes on! And now the newest question "Have I royally screwed up my kid by attempting to potty train him too soon???" Every book says something different, every parent will have a different take on it and every single moment of every single day I am left wondering if the choices I am making are the right ones....being a parent is HARD! There are even moments that I want to pick up the phone, call my old midwive's office and say "ummmmm was there anything else in there...like a manual???"
So for the time being we have made the choice to pull back on potty training and going about it at a much slower pace. We are leaving his potty out so he can choose to sit on it if he wants (which he does) and he has picked up the sign for potty and we encourage him to sit on it fully clothed and do his business (which he sometimes chooses to do). We'll see....obviously there isn't a manual and I"m sure till my dying day I will wonder every day if the decisions I'm making for him are the right ones but all I can do is love this crazy little kid and hope I don't screw him up too bad :)

Jackson and his new potty adventure

So for the past month or so Jackson has become increasingly more interested in the potty and what Jesse and I are doing when we go to it. We've started talking about what we're doing and being very open with him about the process and his interest just seemed to keep growing so we thought hey, let's give it a shot and see what happens!
Now Jackson only just turned 18 months old and he's a boy so I've done little to no research on potty training boys because I didn't expect him to be interested or ready to try till sometime after he turned 2....apparently I was wrong! We've been taking things slow and going off of his level of interest and ques but we realized that at some point we'd need to make a decision what we were going to do and go with it. We decided that since his interest is there now that we best seize this opportunity because we may not get another one till much later and it may be much harder then. We made the big trip to babies r us to pick out his "big boy potty" which we made a big deal and when we got home after a few "dry runs" he willingly sat on it and went pee which shocked us beyond belief!

Practicing with Daddy

I must say that although we are only 3 days in and haven't really been intensely potty training till probably today it is sure A LOT of work on our part! The constant talking of the potty and our body parts and what things do and where things go makes for quite the interesting conversations in our house :) However, since both Jesse and I are well versed in potty talk and Jesse enjoys sharing about his bodily functions...it really isn't much different from daily life if you think about it ;) I have been overjoyed with Jackson's ability to have a dry diaper during nap time for the past 2 days and we love celebrating each accomplishment with him and seeing the smile on his face.
I'm finding it hard to be optimistic about him "actually"potty training right now when everything else with Jackson has been such a struggle for us. I do think that part of the problem is that I wasn't ready for him to do this yet, he's only 18 months old, he's still my little baby! I'm afraid that once he is potty trained and wears big boy underwear that all the baby will be gone...I'm not ready for that. But regardless of if I'm ready or not, he is, so I need to let him grow because I'm pretty sure that out of all the things that Jackson will do in his life that are new for us this one will be a lot easier than the ones to come...i.e Preschool....ugh I can't even think about that now!
Today wasn't as easy with the potty and Jackson's willingness to be on it. I think part of the novelty of the potty has worn off and now it seems like a chore to him that takes him away from his playing. Even though we had a few accidents today we did have a HUGE triumph in that he went poop in the potty for the first time!!

We got him a new "Potty Time" toy that he gets to play with only when he's on the potty

We'll just continue taking one day at a time and seeing where things go....

Our trip back to Oregon...

Jackson and I just returned from a long 3 1/2 week trip back to beautiful Oregon to visit with family and friends. We had such a blast and while it was very hard to come back to "reality" we both were so excited to see Jesse! For the last week we were there every time I got on the computer Jackson would run up and say "Da!" and point at the computer and whenever he awoke from a nap he pointed around saying "Da?" I could tell he REALLY missed his Da! This trip certainly made Jesse and I realize that we can't go on that long of a trip away from each other again, so trips back to Oregon will now have to be about 10 days long which is ok with us.
We lucked out during our Oregon visit with the weather being so beautiful! We got tons of walks and water play in with Grandma Brigette.....

I love how he worked on filling up this basket for such a long time (he hasn't quite figured how the concept of holes :)

 Unfortunately a few days before we were to leave on family vacation with Jesse's side of the family Jesse had to cancel his plane ticket and wasn't able to come back for the trip which really disappointed us all. Jesse's promotion has proved quite challenging over the past month or so...all 3 of his kiosks were torn down and re-built and with many mistakes and delays occurring higher up in corporate Jesse's workload has been astronomical! We've just had to roll with the punches and take the challenges as they come but this change certainly has proved to be way more than we signed on for...Our motto recently has been "whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!" All of this change has affected Jackson quite a bit, although I try my best to keep my emotions stable around Jackson, at times it has been difficult.
Family vacation was a rough one with Jackson being 18 months old and interested in getting into everything under the sun and I swear his main mission was to cause mommy to lose her mind! I don't blame him for his difficulty on vacation with the constant "no touch" and "stop" that I had to repetitively say because well while camping that is the environment you are in. Between the struggles and challenges that Jackson and I had I was able to have many wonderful conversations with my in-laws and those moments were worth all the work! Jackson did have a super fun time with his cousins and it allowed me to see just how quickly Jackson catches on to things and how many words he was starting to form...

Playing in the sand with Cousin Sierra

Cousin Henry taking Jackson for a walk with Uncle :)

mmm Grandma's always have the best snacks! Cheerios!

I felt so blessed to have such a wonderful family that wanted so much to help me with Jackson but Jackson is just at that age and with all the change he's been through he really only wanted Mommy.

The rest of our trip was pretty relaxed and we spent most of our afternoons hanging in the backyard playing with water or going to the park...

We went to the park and had a blast with Grandpa David...

Jackson and Cooper had the best time at the Beaverton Fountain!

He loved helping Grandma Brigette water the plants...I think it's because he knew he'd get to play with the hose after :)

I think he might be a chef when he grows up! He loved helping Auntie Melissa in the kitchen

OR maybe he'll be a soccer player :)

And of course I LOVED seeing my baby nephew Joshua! He's growing up so fast....

The terrible two's already!?!?

I knew when we moved away that there would be an adjustment period for all of us but never thought that it would push Jackson into his terrible two's this early! As Jackson has started this new stage I find myself thinking back to his colic stage as a newborn and how testing that was to Jesse and my relationship and our sanity. While both of these stages are extremely challenging and I can now say that having been through colic and come out on the other end and now beginning the terrible two's that the terrible two's are definitely more challenging in many ways.
First off, Jackson is now able to understand more and while I know his vocabulary is very limited right now I can say with certainty that he understands much of what we say and I believe it is that that aids in the challenge of this stage. At times it can feel that his actions and anger towards me or Jesse are on purpose, although I know that they are not. He has taken to hitting, pinching and biting and then when he is disciplined looks at me with a smile and laughs about it which makes holding my temper extremely difficult. We have decided to start timeouts which at first resulted in us putting him back in timeout every 2 seconds and the minute he was allowed to come out hitting me again but after only a week he seems to be understanding timeout more. I don't blame him for much of his behavior as we have completely turned his world upside down and taken him away from EVERYTHING that is familiar.
I have discovered that not only is having your child throw himself on the ground, scream and hit you in public embarrassing but having to punish him in public is equally hard. I constantly feel judged when Jackson acts out in public, when I have to keep my cool, talk to him in a calm and collected voice and then punish him it feels that every person walking by is scrutinizing every word I say and then talking to the person next to them about my punishment style. Hopefully this feeling will go away soon as we have to deal with this more in public, I don't think it'll get easier but perhaps less consuming.
Each day is a challenge and a struggle right now with this stage that he is in but I know if we stand our ground together and continue to nurture him with love and affection even through this time that we will all come out on the other side more patient, kind and loving as a family.

It's moments like these that keep me going every day...

Kimberly & Joshua come for a visit!

For the past 7 days we have been so blessed to have Kimberly & Joshua fly to Colorado to visit us! Joshua is just 4 months old and with this being his first long trip away from home he has done wonderful! His little coo's and caa's along with that bright eyed dimpled smile just melts out heart everytime and helps Jesse and I to remember back to when Jackson was a newborn :) Granted Jackson was quite the challenging newborn what with his colic and inability to sleep but when we think back we try to block that out and remember all those first milestones that he achieved and that we feel so blessed to see Joshua experience now.
Jackson was quite excited to see Kimberly & Joshua at the airport and couldn't wait to get his paws on Joshua! Of course Jackson is still too young to understand his own strength and often tried to lay on top of Joshua and get as close as humanely possible to his face. While this was very sweet and made for some memorable pictures it made my heart race and I would immediately begin sweating the closer he got because as I'm sure any parent knows, a 17 month old is completely unpredictable! As the visit has gone on though, Joshua has become less of a novelty and more of a constant so Jackson has been less interested which has done wonders for my blood pressure :)
We have gone on so many adventures since Kimberly & Joshua have been here, mostly involving water since it's in the 90's here:

The boys getting ready to hit the pool!

Joshua's first pool experience!

The best $20 we've ever spent! Thank you Ikea!

Clearly someone needs a haircut :)