First off, Jackson is now able to understand more and while I know his vocabulary is very limited right now I can say with certainty that he understands much of what we say and I believe it is that that aids in the challenge of this stage. At times it can feel that his actions and anger towards me or Jesse are on purpose, although I know that they are not. He has taken to hitting, pinching and biting and then when he is disciplined looks at me with a smile and laughs about it which makes holding my temper extremely difficult. We have decided to start timeouts which at first resulted in us putting him back in timeout every 2 seconds and the minute he was allowed to come out hitting me again but after only a week he seems to be understanding timeout more. I don't blame him for much of his behavior as we have completely turned his world upside down and taken him away from EVERYTHING that is familiar.
I have discovered that not only is having your child throw himself on the ground, scream and hit you in public embarrassing but having to punish him in public is equally hard. I constantly feel judged when Jackson acts out in public, when I have to keep my cool, talk to him in a calm and collected voice and then punish him it feels that every person walking by is scrutinizing every word I say and then talking to the person next to them about my punishment style. Hopefully this feeling will go away soon as we have to deal with this more in public, I don't think it'll get easier but perhaps less consuming.
Each day is a challenge and a struggle right now with this stage that he is in but I know if we stand our ground together and continue to nurture him with love and affection even through this time that we will all come out on the other side more patient, kind and loving as a family.
|It's moments like these that keep me going every day...|